Patton Lee Beaugus | November 26, 2010 4:45pm
Heads Up!
I am Patton Lee Beaugus. My friends would call me Paddy, if I had any.This thing your are reading is Blog Musical, which I'm going to christen a Blogsical. A Blogsical is a creative format I think I'm inventing. But since I once thought I invented practice sex, maybe I'm not the first to perform this sick act either.
Anyway, every day from now until Christmas I intend to stretch out the story of my interaction with the evilishious BuddaBings Partymob — in both prose and song.
Feel free to throw away your Advent Calendar and post these blogs up on your refridgerator door with your Santa magnets — next to all the Christmas cards with photos of chubby little kids who may never see Santa Claus again. Ha-Haaaaaa!
Each blog will chronical the story of my Christmas Eve with the PartyMob. The next Christmas Eve!
Because of a dimensional time rift caused by an unintended side effect of string-theory physics and the escape of a Clydesdale from the Budweiser Beer Wagon, I am able to write this story before it happens, and end it as Santa is making his last stop for a well deserved nightcap.
Most of these blogs will include songs. Some will be original material. Some will be real Christmas songs. Most will be parody rip-offs — which is what the BuddaBings are all about — ripping off Christmas songs. (These are really evil people, after all.)
I could suggest you to listen to the songs while reading the lyrics, or even singing along. And then afterwards to read the story-blog. But since you're going to do whatever you feel like doing anyway, do it your way. I'll try to accomodate you by running the story and songs side-by-side.
In the first couple of blogs, you'll meet da PartyMob. Gangleader: Lightfingered Louie. Louis' boyhood buddy: HiTone. Mob consigliare: Velvet Vinnie. Hot hit lady: D'Oliyia Psycho physicist: Gun Molly And one more character I won't tell you about because you won't believe me. So let's start this Blogsical off as we intend to go on, introducing the PartyMob with an Overture — a song with ripped-off music and a parody lyric. Imagine hearing voices from the sky, and looking up and seeing a bunch of Damon Runyon characters drinking and singing from the flying red caddie shown at the top of the page. Your first clue that these are nefarious outlaws will be that not only are they drinking and driving, they are not even wearing seat belts! If you have no imagination and only like videos of people embarrassing themselves in ways that scream "Emergency Room, here I come," maybe you'll be happier URLing over to YouTube — where you don't have to read — or use your imagination. Having tried to warn you off, and having failed because you are still reading, I say, and the PartyMob says, "Let's Get This Christmas Started." Now you should click the song button — if you haven't done so already.
This text will be replaced by the flash music player.
WARNING: Reference lyric only. Listening to this singer has caused ear cancer in lab rats. BTW: In case you were wait-listed your application to get into MENSA, this is not a Christmas Kiddie Story, not even for nasty little kids who secretly watch "South Park". This story is for grownups, albeit grownups who still think like thirteen year olds. |
so you better get this Christmas started We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started. Get this Christmas started, We say start it tonight PartyMob ain't waitin' for the day to arrive. Taking over Christmas, that's our holiday thing. Doing Christmas parties where we drink and we sing. Our party's gonna kick ass, we give our word With a lot of class, although mostly it's third We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started Pumping up the volume on our new Christmas song Ripping off Pink's music as we waissail along, We got a big red caddy with a Clydesdeer in front We can drag for titles if'n that is you want. Plan to bus it home, yo, 'cause deer Clydie can fly When we kick your rear end, then we all can get high. We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started Get this Christmas started... (rap break tbd that will introduce the individual mob members) Passing out the presents as we bop in the room Every one's unwrapping as we set up the groove. Pumpin' up the volume on this ripped off beat Better start to dancin' or you'll answer to me. We're your new suppliers, you can score any time. We'll be your connections to the party lines. We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started We're flyin' down so you better get this Christmas started We're kickin' ass so you better get this Christmas started We're takin' names so you better get this Christmas started Get this Christmas started Get this Christmas started right now Get this Christmas started Get this Christmas started Get this Christmas started right now. |
